Tell us about the time you threw down the gauntlet and drew the proverbial line in the sand by giving someone an ultimatum. If you’ve never handed out an ultimatum but secretly wanted to, describe the scene and what you would say to put an end (one way or another) to an untenable situation.
I have been divorced since 2008. As much as I’d like to, I can’t completely blame him. The human condition is simple, there’s two sides to every story and it wasn’t completely his fault. Three weeks before the end, we got into a screaming match that culminated in me very calmly albiet with tears rolling down my face telling him that I was miserable and didnt’ know how much longer I could stay in a relationship where I was the only one trying to make it work. In my head, this was an ultimatum. If he wanted me to stay, he had to try harder.
Please understand me, this whole thing was a long time coming. I didn’t just wake up one morning and tell my husband of seven years that I wanted a divorce. He had lost his Brother and his Grandmother in a three month time span and he’d shut down. I did my best to support him, but nothing was helping. Now, I understand everyone has to grieve in their own time, but it had been three years by this point and he was still sleeping the day away on the couch. I couldn’t take it anymore.
What blew my mind is that after I told him I was miserable, nothing changed. My thought was, obviously he didn’t want me to stick around anymore. So, after coming home from work one day when I’d ask him to put the sprinklers on the lawn (this wouldn’t generally be a big deal, but watering the lawn was in our lease) and he hadn’t done it, I’d finally had enough.
He came outside to smoke and found me lugging hoses across our fairly sizable lawn mumbling and cursing under my breath and instead of helping, just stood there. Smoking and watching me. Now this pissed me off. He knew I’d worked all day and that I had problems with the hoses to begin with. He knew I’d asked him to do this earlier. The longer he watched, the madder I got. When I’d finally gotten everything set, I stepped up on the porch, looked him in the eye and told him I wanted a divorce. Then, calmly went inside to start dinner.